Wisdom in the Wilderness: Honoring Our LGBTQ+ Elders

Written By Rev. Steven Lympus

Each year on May 16, we observe National Honor Our LGBTQ+ Elders Day–a moment to pause and celebrate the wisdom, resilience, and witness of those who paved the way for the freedoms and conversations we benefit from today. First launched in 2015 by The LGBT Health Resource Center of Chase Brexton Health Care, this day calls us to remember the lives, stories, and sacrifices of LGBTQ+ people who have lived through decades of cultural, political, and spiritual upheaval.

At Revoice, we are deeply committed to honoring not just diversity of orientation, race and ethnicity, gender, and story–but also diversity of age. Representation across generations matters. Many LGBTQ+/SSA Christians, particularly younger believers, grow up without the opportunity to see what it looks like to faithfully follow Jesus as someone who is both LGBTQ+ and older. We believe that the presence of elders in our spaces—people who have spent years walking in obedience, endurance, and joy–is a gift. Through their presence and leadership, we are reminded that discipleship isn’t only possible for LGBTQ+ people; it’s powerful, beautiful, and essential for the Church.

Today, we are sharing words from several of our beloved elders—leaders, mentors, and community members whose stories help anchor us in God’s faithfulness and remind us what’s possible when we walk with Him for a lifetime.

“You don't need to choose between being gay and being a Christian. God has provided a way for both; you just won't hear it from the Church. Search the scriptures, there's so much more than just the clobbering passages…”

— Ron Koustas, A friend of Revoice

“Seeing this community grow over the past 10 years has been a great joy! From the Side B presence at GCN/QCF, to the Facebook group and retreat, the need for spaces of our own was so real. The first Revoice conference was such an outpouring of the Spirit, especially during worship, and was still just a taste of what the whole Revoice movement has become. Even though all the women at that first conference could fit in one small classroom, we brainstormed and dreamed, and so many of those dreams are becoming reality, as well as the dreams and hopes of our other siblings. We still have a long way to go until all the Bees are free and safe and thriving, but we’ve come so far! 

Many thanks to our whole community, and especially to the Revoice staff, present and past.”

— Lin, A friend of Revoice

“This may be controversial, but St Ignatius teaches that All is Gift and God in All Things.  Also, that everything in the created world is given to us so that we can better know, love and serve with our Creator and Lord.  After decades of trying to bat away thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that I thought were in conflict with a life of faith, I have found the greatest sense of peace, wholeness, integration, and, yes, love and freedom to serve with the Lord by simply wondering how God is desiring to use my wiring to help me understand God's Love and God's creative beauty, as well as God's desire for me–just as I am.  In turn, I have found that faith can only grow out of love and love of others can only flow through me/us, when we have an embodied sense of God's loving action within.

Also, strongly agree:  You are not your thoughts.

Lastly,  When I was in my 20's and 30's and trying to understand faith and sexuality, I never thought that at age 60 I would look at my Pride wrist band with joy.  Faith has been the biggest gift to my sexuality and my sexuality has been the biggest gift to my faith.“

— Dan Huie, A friend of Revoice

Coming out of the closet at 45 did not mean that I needed to leave my husband of 23 years and find a woman to love and live life with. It was years of processing before I landed in the Side B world. That was nearly 14 years ago. Today I get to come alongside young people trying to figure out how to walk with Jesus as they learn to love and accept themselves as sexual minorities and live out what they believe to be right in stewarding the gift of a non-straight sexuality. In our current cultural climate there is more acceptance and freedom in being LGBTQ+ than when I was coming of age over 40 years ago. 

As an elder in our community I get to help “carry” those who are younger than me and most of the time that looks like active listening. I get to be a witness for young women who are making the hard decisions around their sexuality and more importantly their spirituality—their relationship with the Lover of their souls, Jesus Christ. To be a confidant, a shoulder to cry on, a sister, often a spiritual mother, and a true friend is an honor. I don’t take it lightly. 

 My biggest responsibility is to communicate through actions and words the Unconditional Love of our Triune God to my younger LGBTQ+ siblings. We are the Beloved children of the Living God and I am to be a vessel of that Love. It can’t be bottled up inside or it will die. It needs to flow. As long as I live out of this Great Love, trust in His ways, and do my best to live at peace with all, I have hope that you will count me as a fellow pilgrim who kept company with you along the way. 

— Catherine M., Quirky, Questioning Queer, A friend of Revoice

As we close, we offer this prayer:

God of every generation—

We thank You for the youth and young adults in our community, full of passion, potential, and longing. We pray for their discipleship, their formation, and their flourishing. May they find guidance, mentorship, and strength in You and in the spiritual family You’ve given them. Surround them with leaders who reflect Your grace and courage. Give them a vision of faithfulness that goes the distance.

And God, we thank You for the elders who have gone before us–for their courage, their quiet perseverance, their joy, the way their scars remind us of yours, and their love. Thank You for the ways they have made a way in the wilderness, for the paths they’ve cleared, and the seeds they’ve planted. May we never take for granted the stories they carry or the witness they embody.

Teach us to honor one another well—and to build the kind of Church where every generation belongs.

Amen.

Rev. Steven Lympus

Steven grew up in Northwest Montana during the Jesus Movement and fell in love with Jesus at an early age. He is gay and shares a mixed-orientation marriage with his wife, Laura. Ordained in the Presbyterian Church (USA) in 2002, Steven pastored congregations in the Northwest and West Coast before returning to campus ministry in 2022. He coordinates online communities for Revoice and joins the staff to unite his passions for discipleship and care for the SSA/LGBTQ+ Christian community.

Steven holds a BS in Journalism from the University of Montana and a Master of Divinity from Regent College. He writes young adult fiction and has contributed to the forthcoming volume Christlike Acceptance and the Church's LGBTQ Children from Baker Academic. Active in denominational and community leadership, he engages in racial justice initiatives and refugee care, and regularly speaks at Camp Spalding. Steven and Laura live in Missoula, MT, with their four teenagers and 20+ college students at the Alpha Omega House.

”I’m inspired to share my story and insights through writing as a way to process my own experiences and, in turn, help others. My hope is that my writing can open up connections and offer encouragement to other Side B folks, especially through meditations on Scripture passages—particularly narratives—from a Side B perspective.” — Steven

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