“Teach me to treat all that comes to me throughout this day with peace of soul and with firm conviction that Your will governs all.” 

                                                A line from the Prayer of St Philaret

As a teenager, I listened to some songs over and over again. Often, this required a steady hand to lift the needle off the record and place it down gently, so as not to scratch it, onto the track of the song already making its way into my heart. 

What can the Church learn by listening to transgender and gender minority Christians? In this first post of Revoice’s Listening Project series, we share key takeaways from a survey of transgender and gender minority members of the Revoice community, exploring belonging, representation, participation, and deeper theological engagement. These reflections invite Revoice and the wider Church to listen more carefully, build meaningful relationships, and consider what faithfulness to Christ can look like for gender minority Christians.

In Jesus’ early years of ministry, he healed an untold number of diseased people. This made him very popular, at least with sick folks! Mark, in his action-oriented gospel, tells us that great crowds of people followed the Savior, inspired by the miracles he performed for their friends and families. In chapter 3, Jesus seeks access to a boat to get away from the crush of the infirm, who were “pushing forward to touch him.” (Mark 3:10). The Greek word for the verb used here means to fall upon; therefore, one might suggest these throngs of people were “falling all over themselves” to get to Jesus and his focused attention. The Greek for “touch” can mean “to attach oneself to.”  More on that later.

I'm glad Jesus doesn't feel the need

to keep himself "unblemished" by me.

He is not too proud to crouch in the dirt

and write my name

while Good Christian People

sneer at my shame

and try to throw stones at me

anyway. 

He doesn't distance his heart

from my heart;

doesn't scoff at the tears in my eyes;

He doesn't believe that I'm "playing the victim"

“God is in control.” These four words flew out of my mouth as an automatic response. Yet I realized I found no comfort in them. There is so much war and intense suffering all over the world. How is this God’s plan?

Eb, Bb, Cm, Ab. These four chords, when combined in a certain way, transport me back to the bittersweet longing for my ‘first love’. The head-over-heels infatuation was intoxicating. But the friendship crumbled under the weight of hoping it would turn into something more. Eventually, I let go, but even now, I sometimes struggle with guilt that I gave part of my heart away to someone who could have never been my spouse. At times, my heart feels so confused and damaged. Is this really God’s plan for me?

I prayed for exactly zero people at Revoice22. As a prayer ministry volunteer, I stood and waited by the stage, but nobody approached me for prayer. My heart sank. I’d started dreaming about working for a ministry like Revoice, but maybe I wasn’t spiritual or mature enough. 

“Do you think it’s a sign?” I asked my friend Anna Li. “Maybe this ministry isn’t for me.” She reassured me and said, "No, don’t take it as a sign." 

A few months later, on a phone call with Revoice’s Conference Director, I tentatively shared some feedback about the conference. I suggested that prayer ministry should be more visible, and that there should be a moment when we pause to invite people to come up for prayer. He agreed with my suggestions and asked me to lead prayer ministry at Revoice23 (Acts 6, anyone?). I hesitantly agreed. 

In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. John 1:4-5 (NIV)

Friends! We are currently in the season of Lent. For some of us, the practice of observing Lent comes with some baggage. Perhaps it fed and nourished a personal narrative of self-shame, being incapable, or fear of judgment. You may have fallen into the belief that refraining from something during the Lent season was an act of spiritual martyrdom — another reminder of what you weren’t doing well enough. In contrast, you may land in the camp of participating in Lent as an act of preparation for the resurrection life that God has promised us through the completed work of Jesus’s ministry here on earth.

As a single person, I used to struggle with terrible, chronic loneliness…

At the time, no one would have guessed this to be the case. I’ve done an excellent job over the years at expanding my network, investing in relationships, and building community. If anyone were to be lonely, most people probably wouldn’t say it would be me. But alas, I was indeed desperately lonely.

I would occasionally have a weekend or even one night with nothing planned. If I couldn’t find someone available for a last-minute hangout, my heart would ache. In fact, even going home (where I was to sleep alone) after a social outing would cause me pain most evenings. I often complained about this situation to my inner circle.