WELCOME TO THE FAQS

We’ve created this resource as

a warm invitation

for those who may be unfamiliar with Revoice or interested in learning more about who we are.

This FAQ is especially for those outside our community who have questions or curiosity about our mission and convictions.

Our hope is that these answers will offer a clear and thoughtful picture of Revoice—how we engage with the world and what we stand for—fostering greater understanding and deeper connection.

At the same time, we recognize that each person in our community has their own unique journey, so this FAQ cannot fully capture the diversity of experiences and perspectives within Revoice.

For a more in-depth look at our shared faith and sexual ethics, we invite you to explore our Statement of Faith and Sexual Ethics & Christian Obedience.

Thank you for taking the time to learn more about us—we’re so glad you’re here!

Jump to a specific FAQ:

OVERVIEW & GENERAL TERMINOLOGY

1. What is the mission of Revoice, and what does the word “revoice” mean?

The mission of Revoice is to support and encourage sexual minorities who uphold the historic Christian sexual ethic–and those who love them–so that the whole Church might flourish. Here is our full mission and vision statement.

The term "revoice" is rooted in the language of music and signifies the refinement of an instrument's sound. To "revoice" an instrument is not to alter its essence but to restore the beauty of the sound it was originally designed to produce. Similarly, we believe that today’s Christian conversations about sexuality would greatly benefit from a "revoicing." We do not believe that the historic Christian doctrine of marriage and sexuality should be changed, but rather, upheld. We hope to see the beauty of God's original design for sexuality clarified and amplified, contributing to the health and flourishing of the entire kingdom of God.

Revoice is an interdenominational, broadly evangelical ministry with roots in a variety of traditions within North American Christianity. We affirm both the Langham Partnership Statement of Faith and the Lausanne Covenant.

2. What does Revoice mean by the “historic, Christian doctrine of Marriage & Sexuality?

THE HISTORIC CHRISTIAN doctrine of marriage and sexuality is the belief that God designed marriage to be the lifelong union of one man and one woman, and all sexual behavior is meant to be expressed within the context of this covenant relationship. These convictions emerge from the Christian Scriptures and have been maintained by the majority of Christians worldwide for thousands of years. At Revoice, we interchangeably use the words “historic,” “traditional,” or “orthodox” to describe this longstanding Christian sexual ethic. For a more comprehensive explanation of our beliefs regarding marriage and sexuality, please see our Statement on Sexual Ethics and Christian Obedience. 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES*

3. What does the phrase “sexual minority” mean?

WHEN WE USE the phrase “sexual minority,” we are highlighting the reality that some people persistently experience their sexuality differently from the majority. This group includes those who experience same-sex attraction and/or may identify as gay, bisexual, or asexual. The phrase “sexual minority” is also commonly utilized in psychological literature as a neutral, umbrella term to categorize individuals in studies on health, personal development, and social experience. All minority groups have unique challenges and opportunities. Sexual minorities may face many of the same challenges that other minority groups do. These include being misunderstood by the majority; being subject to harmful stereotypes; being feared, neglected, or overlooked; and enduring various forms of both intentional and unintentional discrimination. At Revoice, we believe that recognizing minority groups in the Church, including sexual minorities, helps us love all people better and ensures every person a voice and a valued place in our churches and communities. 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES*

  • All But Invisible: Exploring Identity Questions at the Intersection of Faith, Gender & Sexuality by Nate Collins (Zondervan)

NOT TO ALTER ITS ESSENCE

To "revoice" an instrument is

but to restore the beauty of the sound it was originally designed to produce. Similarly, we believe that today’s Christian conversations about sexuality would greatly benefit from a "revoicing."

4. Is Revoice an “ex-gay” ministry?

NO, REVOICE IS not a reparative or conversion therapy ministry, sometimes also called an “ex-gay” ministry. For reparative ministries and therapies, the hoped-for outcome is to “cure” a gay person by making them “straight.” Said another way, the goal of these approaches is to essentially change a person’s sexual orientation or attractions from homosexual to heterosexual. Sometimes, the goal of sexual orientation change is clearly stated; other times, this goal is an unspoken, implicitly desired byproduct. Moreover, this goal of sexual orientation change can imply either the complete elimination or merely the reduction of same-sex sexual orientation. This approach places a strong emphasis on sexual orientation change as a crucial signifier of success.

To be clear, at Revoice, we do not claim that sexual orientation or attraction never shifts. At times, the Holy Spirit works in miraculous ways. We bless anyone who says that they have experienced a measure of change in sexual orientation. Similarly, we are grateful for any gay or straight individual who, having experienced sexual abuse or struggled with sexual addiction in the past, finds healing and restoration.

At the same time, statistics show that the vast majority of same-sex-attracted people do not undergo a fundamental change in their sexual orientation over the course of their lifetime. Moreover, the expectation of change paired with the failure to achieve it can often lead to debilitating shame. We recognize that all proclivity to lust, whether heterosexual or homosexual, is a form of human brokenness. Any sinful temptation that arises from inappropriate sexual attractions must be resisted in God’s power as we all pursue holiness and nurture dependence on God day by day.

We want to emphasize that Revoice rejoices in God's powerful, dramatic, transformative work among all disciples of Christ, including sexual minority disciples. We also rejoice in extraordinary experiences of everyday transformation and sanctification in the lives of sexual minority disciples that mirror the multifaceted, everyday ways that God works in the lives of straight disciples who faithfully submit their sexuality to the lordship of Christ day by day.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES*

  • Still Time to Care: What We Can Learn from the Church’s Failed Attempt to “Cure” Homosexuality by Greg Johnson (Zondervan)

  • Article: “I Never Became Straight. Perhaps That Was Never God’s Goal” by Rachel Gilson (Christianity Today)

5. What do Side A, B, Y, and X mean? Is Revoice a “Side B” ministry?

TO UNDERSTAND THESE terms, we’d like to start with some history. In the 1990s, a group of gay Christians began a dialogue called Bridges Across the Divide. Participants adopted shorthand terms: those who supported Christian same-sex marriage became known as “Side A,” while those who upheld the historic Christian sexual ethic were called “Side B.” Though the Bridges Across the Divide initiative has ended, the terminology has endured.

An Imprecise Summary of the Four “Sides”

Over the years, the conversation surrounding sexuality has continued to develop, leading to additional categorizations beyond “Side A” and “Side B.” While there is no universal agreement on these terms, the following summary provides a general and imprecise overview. We say “imprecise” because broad diversity continues to exist within each “side”:

“SIDES” SUMMARIES

“Side A”:
Affirms same-sex marriage as consistent with Christian faith and rejects the historic Christian understanding of marriage as only between a man and a woman.

“Side B”:
Rejects same-sex marriage as a biblical definition of marriage, upholding the belief that Scripture defines marriage as between one man and one woman and that all sexual behavior or lust outside this covenant is sinful. They do not focus on orientation change, viewing it as rare, and instead focus on faithfulness to God amid ongoing same-sex attraction. “Side B” Christians may use various terms to describe their experiences (e.g., “LGBTQ+,” “same-sex attracted,” etc.) and tend to understand an individual’s language choices as a matter of Christian freedom and charity.

“Side Y”:
Rejects same-sex marriage and broadly agrees with “Side B” but avoids identifying with LGBTQ+ terminology. “Side Y” individuals typically prefer the phrase  “same-sex attracted” and question or avoid the framing of sexual orientation as an aspect of identity, personhood, or social belonging.

“Side X”: Rejects same-sex marriage. Generally agrees with “Side Y” but also actively pursues sexual orientation change as a normative expectation in this life for those who experience same-sex attraction. The ultimate goal for same-sex-attracted people is to no longer experience same-sex attraction in this life and/or to become “straight” and experience opposite-sex attraction. Some may identify as “ex-gay.”

Is Revoice a “side b” ministry, continued…

REVOICE’S HEART
With regard to the above definitions, Revoice does align with a “Side B” conviction. However, we tend to avoid officially labeling our ministry as “Side B” for two key reasons:

  1. Broad spectrum within “Side B”: “Side B” is not an organized group with an agreed-on doctrinal statement. Though Side B Christians agree that same-sex sexual behavior is sinful, they differ in their theological interpretations and lived expressions of that conviction.

  2. Unhelpful “sides” language: Framing these differences as “sides” can foster unnecessary antagonism. At Revoice, our heart is to build up the body of Christ in healthy ways.

While we recognize the usefulness of these terms for discussion, Revoice did not create the language of “sides,” and we choose not to major in it. Such categories can promote unnecessary antagonism, and our heart is not to alienate God’s people from one another but to build up the body of Christ in life-giving ways. Instead of emphasizing what “side” we are on, Revoice prefers to point to our statement of sexual ethics and obedience. Our mission is clear: Revoice seeks to encourage all who hold to the historic Christian sexual ethic, fostering faithfulness to Jesus and cultivating community, love, and grace along the way.


ADDITIONAL RESOURCES*

  • A War of Loves: The Unexpected Story of a Gay Activist Discovering Jesus by David Bennett (Zondervan; See Chapter 23)

  • Article: “Side B Christians Like Me are an Asset, Not a Threat” by Bekah Mason (Christianity Today)

6. Isn’t the historic Christian doctrine of marriage and sexuality oppressive to gay people?

WE BELIEVE THAT God’s design for the Christian stewardship of sexuality is inherently good and beautiful for all people, regardless of sexual orientation or marital status.

However, God’s design is not always easy to live out. This is a reality for everyone—whether gay or straight, married or single. All believers are called to surrender their unmet sexual desires to the lordship of Christ, trusting that these longings will ultimately find fulfillment in deep relationship with God and within the community of faith.

We are confident that obedience to God always leads to blessing and life. When Christians steward their sexuality in alignment with God’s will, they open themselves to the rich blessings promised in the gospel. These include the comfort of being fully known and deeply loved, the joy of serving others selflessly, and the safety of belonging to a community where we support one another. In contrast, disobedience—no matter how justifiable it may seem—draws us away from these blessings. It causes harm, leaving us further from the abundant life that Jesus offers to all who follow Him (John 10:10).

It is essential to acknowledge that while the historic Christian understanding of marriage and sexuality is not oppressive to gay people, certain misinterpretations within the Church have obscured the goodness and beauty of God’s plan. For example, many gay or same-sex-attracted Christians in North America have been taught in some church contexts to view their unwanted sexual attractions as evidence of God’s specific wrath or rejection—often based on a misreading of Romans 1. This has led some sexual minorities to embrace the gospel yet feel uniquely disqualified from its promises. This misreading has also led some religious people to justify their mistreatment of gay and same-sex-attracted people, which is unacceptable. We grieve such harmful misunderstandings and false teachings.

The Church has also, at times, obscured God’s goodness through cultural biases. For example, whether intentionally or unintentionally, North American churches often prioritize resources, programs, and support for married couples–sidelining single individuals. This has left many gay Christians feeling as though marriage is the best and only path for experiencing deep, lasting, and meaningful community. Once again, we lament this imbalance and its impact.

At Revoice, we challenge the Church to think creatively and comprehensively about how it can equip all people, regardless of marital status or sexual orientation, to experience the abundant life that God promises in community with other believers. Together, we can ensure that every believer has access to the richness of gospel-centered community and the blessings of living in obedience to Christ.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES*

  • A Better Story: God, Sex and Human Flourishing by Glynn Harrison (InterVarsity Press)

  • People to Be Loved: Why Homosexuality is Not Just an Issue by Preston Sprinkle (Zondervan)

  • Tenderness: A Gay Christian’s Guide to Unlearning Rejection and Experiencing God’s Extravagant Love by Eve Tushnet (Ave Maria Press)

HUMAN SEXUALITY QUESTIONS

7. What does Revoice believe about Christian identity?

What is Revoice’s perspective on a person using the language of “same-sex attracted” and/or “gay” to identify themselves?

WHEN WE REFER to a person’s “identity,” we are seeking to describe an aspect of their ongoing life experience. We believe that our union with Christ is the core, primary identity of every true Christian (2 Corinthians 5:17, Galatians 2:20, Colossians 3:3). All other personal identities are significant but secondary to one’s primary spiritual identity in Christ. Examples of secondary identities include national identity, ethnic identity, class identity, or sexual identity. In light of this, a person’s “sexual identity” is simply meant to describe one’s ongoing experience of their sexuality and/or sexual orientation.

Among those committed to the historic Christian sexual ethic, Revoice maintains that the terminology each individual chooses to describe their sexuality is a matter of Christian charity (Romans 14). The Revoice community includes those who identify as "same-sex attracted," "gay," and/or both. We are encouraged when individual sexual minorities employ the language that best supports their discipleship in Christ and allows them to be fully known and understood by their community. 

It is helpful to understand that a person’s ultimate choice of terminology to describe their sexuality is influenced by many factors. For instance, some might prefer the term "same-sex-attracted" because they deem it to be less tied to the world’s cultural narratives than the word "gay." By contrast, others might prefer the term "gay" because it is a word that contemporary people more widely understand than the term “same-sex-attracted.” Another reason that people may choose the term “gay” is because some associate the phrase "same-sex attracted" with certain problematic ex-gay approaches and conversion/reparative therapies. 

In summary, Revoice allows space for different approaches to language to describe one’s experience while remaining committed to the historic Christian sexual ethic.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES*

8. Isn’t identifying as “gay” the same as identifying with sin?

REVOICE IS OPPOSED to identifying with sin. We encourage all people to actively turn away from sin and pursue holiness (1 Peter 1:15-16, 2 Corinthians 7:1, Romans 12:1). The pursuit of holiness includes sexual holiness–the responsibility of every Christian to repent or turn away from all illicit sexual desire and practice and to steward one’s sexuality in obedience to Christ. 

Clarifying the definitions of our words is key, since people often use the same words in different ways. 

If the definition of “gay” in this question refers to a person who is actively engaged in nurturing lust and/or having sexual relations with a person of the same sex, then we would agree that identifying as “gay” is identifying with sin. Revoice has never condoned these practices.

If, on the other hand, the definition of “gay” in this question refers simply to a person’s ongoing experience of same-sex attraction, then we would disagree that identifying as “gay” is the same thing as identifying with sin. This person is simply using the word “gay” to describe their experience of same-sex attraction. We are concerned that too many gay and same-sex-attracted people have felt condemned by God and/or the Church simply because of their ongoing experience of same-sex attraction. This is unbiblical. It is important to distinguish between an experience that one does not actively choose and an action that one does actively choose. Moreover, when sexual minorities can name and acknowledge their experiences honestly and without fear, we have seen that they are also able to more authentically engage with God, themselves, and community.  

In all cases, we reassert that it is the responsibility of every Christian to repent (turn away) from all lust and illicit sexual behavior, to pursue holiness, and to steward one’s sexuality in obedience to Christ.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES*

9. What does Revoice teach about temptation and repentance, and what that looks like for sexual minorities?

REVOICE TEACHES that experiencing temptation itself is not a sinful choice that Christians need to repent from — it is a result of living in a fallen world in which temptation confronts us on account of our own indwelling sin, the world around us, and the Enemy. What matters is how we respond to temptation. Feeling drawn toward lust, for example, is different from dwelling on lust in our hearts or acting on it outwardly. Similarly—while God is always calling us to turn to Jesus in repentance—simply experiencing attraction to another person is neither a sin to be repented of, nor is it necessarily an experience of temptation. Like opposite-sex attraction, attraction to a person of the same sex becomes a temptation when it invites one to dwell on the prospect of going against God’s design for sexuality, whether in thought or action.

Because temptation is inevitable, all Christians must stay alert in situations where attraction could lead to temptation, and therefore to the possibility of our acting in unfaithfulness to Christ. This watchfulness allows believers to actively resist thoughts, desires, or behaviors that are not aligned with God’s will. Our aim in doing this is not to cultivate an overwhelming sense of shame because of temptations that arise in our hearts—Christians are clothed in the righteousness of Christ. Rather, our goal is to cultivate discernment and Spirit-empowered resistance in order to put to death our sin and walk faithfully with Christ. 

When we do disobey God, whether in our actions or thoughts, repentance is essential to restore communion with God. Repentance involves recognizing our sin, confessing it honestly to God and trusted others, and committing to walk in a new obedience. Sexual minorities in particular need to experience Christian community as a place where they are known, supported, and cared for with the compassion of Christ, especially when they have failed. Through shared repentance and healthy intimacy—whether in the context of friendship, pastoral care, or other forms of meaningful spiritual community—the isolating power of sin and temptation can be diminished.

Finally, people often assume that a LGBTQ+/SSA person's greatest struggle will be with sexual sin. This may not be the case. Gay people—like straight people—may, at times, struggle with a wide variety of sins, such as pride, selfishness, or greed. Furthermore, other kinds of struggles might feel bigger to gay people, such as not having opportunities to give and receive love—or even just to be known. Still, this discussion of sexual temptation should sound familiar to heterosexual followers of Jesus. Dealing with sexual sin is an experience that nearly all Christian adults share, regardless of their sexual orientation.

The good news is that God’s grace meets us in every struggle and calls us together into His transforming love. In Christian community, believers learn to bear one another’s burdens, celebrate one another’s faithfulness, and grow together in holiness. Our lives, whatever our particular challenges, bear witness to the transforming power of God’s faithfulness and the goodness of His redeeming love.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES*

10. What life models of sexual obedience does Revoice encourage for sexual minorities?

REVOICE ENCOURAGES AND equally supports two faithful life vocations for sexual minorities: celibacy and mixed-orientation marriage.

Celibacy is a life committed to sexual abstinence in service to God and community. It is a beautiful calling that follows in the footsteps of our Lord Jesus Christ, Paul, and many of the apostles and church fathers and mothers. The Apostle Paul actively encouraged all Christians to consider celibacy in singleness as a faithful life choice, suggesting that unmarried Christians have a particularly powerful and effective opportunity to serve God (1 Corinthians 7:7). There are many faithful options for living a life of celibacy while remaining connected to community, including various forms of intentional community, committed friendship, chosen family, celibate partnership, etc. We believe that no model of celibacy should be idolized and that one’s choice about how to pursue a faithful, flourishing life of celibacy is a matter of wisdom, discernment, and Christian charity. Revoice is committed to helping sexual minorities flourish in celibacy, holiness, and community.

Mixed-orientation marriage is another beautiful life model for sexual minorities that glorifies God and serves community. In a “mixed-orientation marriage,” one or both partners experience same-sex attraction yet still pursue a traditional marriage between one man and one woman. Certainly, mixed-orientation marriage presents unique challenges and opportunities. During the ex-gay movement, we acknowledge that some Christians who experience same-sex attraction were pressured to enter traditional marriages. In many cases, this caused great pain. We honor the calling of mixed-orientation marriages for some, but we do not idolize marriage or hold it up as a discipleship goal for everyone. Revoice is committed to supporting the flourishing of couples who discern a call to mixed-orientation marriage. 

Revoice invites all people, whether gay or straight, to prayerfully and communally discern God's calling to either celibacy or traditional marriage. Both vocations, in their unique ways, offer a living picture of Christ’s loving union with the Church, his bride.


ADDITIONAL RESOURCES AND STORIES*

COMMITTED CHRISTIAN

COMMUNITY

11. Can you say more about what flourishing in celibacy and Christian community looks like?

AS STATED ABOVE, faithful options abound for living a life of celibacy while remaining deeply connected to community. All Christians, including celibate Christians, are called to experience rich community in the family of God through the body of Christ.

In addition to this universal call, some may also discern a unique, additional call to commit to an intentional form of Christian community—what we might call committed Christian communities. A committed Christian community is any form of community, distinct from marriage, in which Christians intentionally share life together for the glory of God. Expanding the Church’s imagination for what these communities can look like will also result in expanding access to important “social goods” here in our North American context—such as ongoing companionship, support, resource sharing, and stability—that in our society are too often seen as belonging only to marriage.

Throughout Church history, countless expressions of committed community have taken root. Many LGBTQ+/SSA believers have discerned a calling to these kinds of communities or forms of kinship. In doing so, they model beautiful life paths that can inspire and bless the entire Church, while also reminding us that the good gifts of belonging and mutual care should not be confined to the institution of marriage alone.

In the following three questions, we’ll explore three different models of committed community: intentional communal living, chosen family, and celibate partnerships.


ADDITIONAL RESOURCES AND STORIES*

12. What is intentional communal living?

INTENTIONAL COMMUNAL LIVING is a way for Christians to share daily life together — sometimes under the same roof, sometimes in the same neighborhood — while committing to rhythms of prayer, hospitality, and mutual care. Though not monastic in the formal sense, it draws from the rich Christian tradition of monasteries, convents, mission houses, and intentional households that have practiced a shared and ordered life for the sake of companionship, discipleship, and mission.

Scripture paints a similar picture of the early church: believers “devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer” (Acts 2:42–47). Their life together was holistic, marked not only by shared meals and worship but also by sharing resources so that economic, relational, and social needs were met within the body of Christ.

Today, some LGBTQ+/SSA Christians have discerned a call to this form of community with other fellow believers. These households often anchor themselves in prayer, shared meals, and hospitality, while also providing tangible support—like caring for one another during illness, pooling resources to reduce financial strain, or offering stability during seasons of transition. Such practices reflect the truth that Christian family extends beyond marital-only households and that the body of Christ is called to meet one another’s needs in practical and enduring ways.

As with any form of community, intentional communal living is not a requirement for flourishing, but it is one faithful expression of what it can look like to live in deep fellowship with the people of God.


ADDITIONAL RESOURCES AND STORIES*

13. What is a chosen family?

A CHOSEN FAMILY is comprised of two or more Christians who intentionally commit to share life together in Christ, offering one another belonging, support, and love. These relationships are deeper than casual friendships in that they involve long-term commitment, shared burdens, and a sense of mutual belonging. Some individuals may choose to formalize these commitments in some way, while others fulfill their commitments more informally. Similarly, some chosen families actually live together in the same household, while others might live apart, even at great distance from one another. These chosen families can be multigenerational, bringing together older and younger believers, single and married, to embody the richness of the body of Christ across ages and life stages.

The New Testament also frequently describes the Church as a family. Jesus expanded family when he said, “Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother” (Matthew 12:50). Paul likewise speaks of believers as “the household of God” (Ephesians 2:19). These passages remind us that Christian kinship is not limited to biological or marital ties but is grounded in the covenant love of Christ.

Throughout Scripture, we see that God knits people together in loyal, covenantal love. Ruth’s devotion to Naomi—“Where you go, I will go” (Ruth 1:16–17)—shows how chosen kinship can transcend bloodlines, reflecting God’s faithfulness in unexpected relationships. Similarly, David and Jonathan’s covenant (1 Samuel 18–20) illustrates friendship marked by deep trust, mutual care, and spiritual solidarity. Together, these examples remind us that Christian family is not confined to biological or marital ties but can emerge wherever believers commit to love one another with steadfast, covenantal faith.

Many celibate, LGBTQ+/SSA Christians have found life-giving chosen families that surround them with emotional care, spiritual encouragement, and practical support—sharing holidays, walking through seasons of need, and offering the constancy and belonging that might not be present in their family of origin. This care is mutual, with celibate sexual and gender minorities offering their gifts and sacrificial love, such as becoming godparents to children and providing tangible support in the household. Within these chosen families, older members often serve as spiritual mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers, and uncles and aunts, while younger members or peers contribute vitality and fresh perspective as siblings, creating a network of care that mirrors the intergenerational character of the Church itself.

Chosen family does not replace the broader reality that the Church is a spiritual family. In fact, in many ways, chosen family strives to embody the New Testament vision of what the church was intended to be—a true family that extends beyond biological kin. And in doing so, it highlights creative ways the Spirit knits individual believers together in covenant love, offering tangible expressions of Christ’s promise that no one who follows him is left without brothers, sisters, or mothers in the kingdom of God.


ADDITIONAL RESOURCES AND STORIES*

14. What is a celibate partnership?

A CELIBATE PARTNERSHIP is a committed, non-sexual relationship in which two Christians choose to walk through life together in faithfulness to Christ. This kind of relationship does not aim to mimic the one-flesh union of marriage, which is a central defining feature of marriage. Instead, it is marked by mutual care, shared life rhythms, and intentional commitment to one another’s flourishing in Christ.

Scripture gives us many vivid portraits of faithful companionship. David and Jonathan pledged their lives to one another in covenant loyalty (1 Samuel 18–20), expressing a deep, God-centered bond of love and trust. Ruth’s steadfast commitment to Naomi (Ruth 1:16–17) likewise reflects a self-giving partnership grounded in shared faith and devotion. Jesus himself modeled intimate friendship when he called his disciples not servants but friends (John 15:12–15), commanding them to “love one another as I have loved you.” The early church embodied this love through shared life and mutual care (Acts 2:42–47), bearing one another’s burdens in the Spirit (Galatians 6:2). Proverbs reminds us that “a friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17), and Ecclesiastes teaches that “two are better than one... for if they fall, one will lift up the other” (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10). These passages remind us that God blesses covenanted friendship and that intimacy rooted in faithfulness, service, and shared discipleship can flourish outside sexual or marital contexts.

In our community, some celibate LGBTQ+/SSA Christians have discerned a call to this kind of intentional partnership, rooted in covenantal friendship. These friendships often include shared spiritual practices, practical care, and the stability of doing life together. While expressions vary, the common thread is a desire to honor God through faithfulness, mutual service, and deep, abiding love—without stepping outside the historic Christian sexual ethic.

Celibate partnerships, like chosen family and communal life, are still taking shape within the Church’s imagination. We don’t yet have a deep well of pastoral wisdom, theological reflection, or shared experience to draw from as we seek to live these relationships faithfully before God. Yet for many, the very absence of well-worn paths can be an invitation—a call to listen closely to Scripture, the Spirit, and the community of faith as we discern how covenant friendship might bear witness to God’s love in our time.

As we discern these possibilities, no one pattern of life together should become an idol or a universal expectation. For some, celibate partnership has been life-giving; for others, it has occasioned confusion or temptation. God may provide for relational, emotional, and material needs through communal living, chosen family, mixed-orientation marriage, celibate partnerships, or other networks of friendship. All of these models can give us daily opportunities to both give and receive love.

For these reasons, personal and communal discernment play an essential role as Christians consider how such commitments might become one of the many ways to embody the truth that “God sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6). The counsel of pastors, counselors, and believing friends who know us can help us discern what path might be wisest in our own situation.

For those interested in exploring this model more deeply, The Center for Faith, Sexuality & Gender has produced a resource featuring voices from the broader Side B community who are in celibate partnerships and other forms of non-marital committed friendship. You can find it in the resource section below.


ADDITIONAL RESOURCES AND STORIES*

15. How can Christians maintain healthy friendships or community without compromising convictions?

FRIENDSHIP AND COMMUNITY are essential to the Christian life. God never intended for any of his children to walk alone, and Scripture continually reminds us that the Church is a family where every member is deeply valued (1 Corinthians 12:12–27). Likewise, for LGBTQ+/SSA Christians committed to the historic Christian sexual ethic, the call to chastity does not take away the God-given need for community, healthy intimacy, and belonging. Instead, it opens the door for those needs to be met in ways that reflect God’s wisdom and tender design, reminding us that His vision for our lives always leads to deeper joy and flourishing.

Healthy friendships are sustained through honesty, integrity, and trust. Deep relationships can flourish when friends establish clear expectations and when both parties are committed to walking in holiness. Being honest about areas of weakness and inviting trusted Christian community to provide encouragement, support, and, when necessary, correction, helps ensure that friendships remain lifegiving and God-honoring.

As we explored above, a variety of community models can support flourishing. All of these models share a common foundation: they recognize that obedience to Christ for unmarried people does not require the absence of intimacy, but rather leads to the pursuit of intimacy rightly ordered by Scripture. As with marriage, no form of community is immune from the possibility of idolatry or misdirected desire. But when friendships, families, and communities are grounded in prayer, accountability, and devotion to Christ and his Kingdom, they can become powerful witnesses to God’s faithful provision of love and belonging.

At Revoice, we encourage sexual minorities to explore a wide variety of ways to build strong, committed, and holy community. Whether through friendship networks, communal living, chosen family, or celibate partnerships, these forms of life together demonstrate that the call to sexual obedience is not a call to loneliness, but to flourishing in the rich family of God.


ADDITIONAL RESOURCES AND STORIES*

ADDITIONAL TOPICS & RESOURCES

16. What does the phrase “gender minority” mean?

What does Revoice believe about gender dysphoria and/or the transgender experience?

10. What does the phrase “gender minority” mean? What does Revoice believe about gender dysphoria and/or the transgender experience?

WHILE THE MISSION and ministry of Revoice generally centers the experience of sexual minorities, we understand that the broader movement has always encompassed other groups, including gender minorities. Revoice has been blessed by their presence and gifts.

Similar to the term “sexual minority,” a “gender minority” refers to someone whose experience of gender differs from the majority of the population. Generally speaking, the phrase “gender minority” refers to individuals who experience incongruence between their biological sex and their internal sense of gender. Some gender minorities identify as transgender (or “trans”) while others choose different language to describe their experience. A wide range of lived realities occur under the umbrella of gender incongruence. 

Some transgender people experience this incongruence as gender dysphoria, while others do not. Gender dysphoria is a psychological term that describes the distress or discomfort that arises when a person’s internal sense of gender conflicts with their biological sex. Gender dysphoria can lead to significant emotional, mental, or physical turmoil, often resulting in excruciating psychological and emotional pain. The psychological distress caused by gender dysphoria can vary in degree from person to person, can be a response to a variety of circumstances, and can ebb and flow throughout an individual’s lifetime.

Revoice holds a high view of the body and affirms that God’s creation of humanity as male and female reveals God’s magnificent design. We believe that people were created to experience a sense of alignment between their physical sex and their internal sense of gender. At the same time, we acknowledge the deep effects of the fall, which disrupts this alignment for some and brings pain, particularly for gender minorities. Societal and cultural expectations that narrowly define masculinity and femininity can make the experience of gender dysphoria even more distressing. We mourn these realities with compassion.

We also mourn the painful reality that today many gender minorities / transgender people are facing social rejection, emotional marginalization, and even physical violence, including from some within the Church. These destructive behaviors stem from a range of causes—ignorance, fear, prejudice, and at times, outright hatred. Revoice stands firmly against such treatment. We believe that Christ calls his followers not only to love our neighbors, but also to seek meaningful connection with those who differ from us. 

Revoice seeks to support our siblings in Christ who experience gender incongruence and/or gender dysphoria as participants in the larger LGBTQ+/SSA community. As we do with sexual minorities, we seek to share God's grace with all gender minorities, no matter where they are in their journey with Christ. We strive to empathize with all who are in distress, comfort those in pain, and point every person to Jesus Christ. 

While Revoice does not advocate for gender minorities to pursue transition, we do encourage gender minorities to discern faithful ways of coping with gender incongruence in partnership with God and community. Revoice does not formally recommend specific solutions for gender minorities to address gender incongruence and/or gender dysphoria, although we do believe that it is wise to explore the least invasive means of doing so. In every case, we insist on abundant grace for every person navigating complex challenges as they pursue their journey with Christ.


ADDITIONAL RESOURCES*

17. What does Revoice believe about biological sex?

WE BELIEVE THAT Scripture, beginning with Genesis 1-2, reveals God’s magnificent design for sex difference, marriage, and human sexuality. We affirm that God created humankind male and female in God’s own image and likeness, and that God intended for every person to experience congruence between the biological sex of their bodies and their internal sense of gender. We uphold that God designed biological sex difference to fulfill glorious purposes such as procreation (Genesis 1:28) and to establish the foundation for marriage between husband and wife (Genesis 2:18–25, Matthew 19:4). Marriage also serves as a symbol of the beautiful and profound relationship between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:21–32, Revelation 21:2). 

Tragically, the fall has profoundly affected every aspect of creation, including embodied realities like sexuality and gender (Genesis 3). Some individuals experience a deeply distressing incongruence between their biological sex and their internal sense of gender, while others face atypical physical traits related to biological sex. Notwithstanding these realities, we uphold that all people, including those who experience gender incongruence or any atypical traits related to biological sex, continue to fully reflect God’s image. Every person remains inherently and unequivocally worthy of dignity, grace, and compassion. And all people, including gender minorities / transgender people, have unique and valuable gifts to offer the Church.

As Christ-followers, we are all called to love, care for, and support every individual, including those navigating complex experiences related to biological sex and gender. Our faith compels us to walk together in humility, bearing one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2) and pointing all people toward the truth and goodness of Christ in a spirit of grace and love.

Our hopeful expectation is that, in the new creation, humankind will no longer experience gender incongruence or any form of distress associated with sex or gender. We long for that day!

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES*

18. What does Revoice believe about using the chosen name and/or pronouns of a gender minority or trans person?

At Revoice, we recognize that names and pronouns are deeply personal and often connected to a person’s story, sense of identity, and longing to be known. For Christians who hold to the historic and traditional view of biological sex and/or have not experienced gender incongruence, navigating how to use a person’s chosen name and pronouns can feel complex. Yet we believe this decision is best approached not with fear, but with the heart of Christ, who consistently treated people with dignity and compassion.

A growing number of Christians who have a high view of the goodness of embodied sex difference conclude that using someone’s chosen name or pronouns is simply a kind and respectful way to honor their dignity and individual autonomy. Doing so does not require that we fully agree with or comprehend every aspect of a person’s self-understanding or worldview. Rather, it communicates: “I see you, I hear you, and I respect your dignity as someone made in the image of God.” Whenever possible, our conviction is therefore to address people in the manner in which they wish to be addressed.

This posture of respect often helps build relational trust, creating space for meaningful conversation, genuine friendship, and the possibility of even deeper forms of relationship, including mutual growth and discipleship. That is why we encourage participants at our events to honor the pronoun and name choices of trans and gender minority people while in Revoice spaces, which are uniquely designed to be spaces of belonging for LGBTQ+/SSA people, regardless of each person’s current convictions. 

Throughout his ministry, Jesus consistently led with patience and compassion as he interacted with each person. In the same way, Christians today can uphold a traditional theological conviction about the created goodness of male and female while also using trans persons’ names and pronouns as an expression of grace, knowing that gender dysphoria is often a deeply felt reality in their daily experience.

We recognize that faithful Christians do not all approach the question of using a gender minority or trans person’s name or pronouns in the same way. Even when convictions differ, we believe that it is valuable to explore alternative ways of addressing trans people that avoid causing unnecessary distress or undue relational alienation. Following Christ means learning, again and again, how to treat others with the same grace and compassion that He has shown to us. As we all seek to grow in Christlikeness, we encourage believers to find ways that are consistent with their own beliefs to honor the dignity of trans people. We have an opportunity to consider how small acts of respect—like acknowledging someone’s chosen name or pronouns—can open doors for trust, relationship, and mutual respect, even when there might not be perfect agreement.

What unites us at Revoice is a shared commitment to treat gender minorities as beloved members of the Revoice community. When we approach every person with humility, honesty, and a genuine desire for their good, even everyday language can become a powerful witness to both truth and grace.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES*

19. Can you help me find a counselor who is sensitive to these matters of sexuality, gender, and Christian faith?

YES! WE’RE HAPPY to point you in the direction of counselors who have been effective and helpful to members of our community. While we cannot guarantee positive matches or outcomes, and we do not endorse specific therapists, there are counseling networks that have experience with our movement and have shown sensitivity to the unique needs and concerns of LGBTQ+/SSA Christians who follow a historic sexual ethic. As you look for a counselor, we strongly encourage you to be honest during the intake process, clearly describing what you are and are not looking for.

ONLINE & INTERNATIONAL

IN-PERSON, USA
While online counseling may work best for most, we have a limited set of in-person counselors we can recommend nationwide. Please email counseling@revoice.org with the subject line “counseling referral in [city, state],” and a member of our team will let you know if we can recommend anyone in your region.

20. I am a pastor or ministry leader. Can you recommend resources to help me grow as a leader in these areas?

ABSOLUTELY! REVOICE DREAMS of seeing every church and ministry grow as a place where sexual and gender minorities can flourish in life and faith. Here are some recommended resources for pastors and ministry leaders:

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES*

MINISTRIES*

For more resources and to support the ministry of Revoice through your book purchases, please visit the Revoice Bookshop.

*Resource Disclaimer

Please note that Revoice provides these resource lists as a service for individuals seeking to explore these topics further. The inclusion of any resource does not imply full agreement by Revoice with all the content, perspectives, or the author’s broader work. Likewise, the inclusion of a resource does not suggest the author endorses the full scope of Revoice’s ministry. For further resources and to support the ministry of Revoice through your book purchases, please visit the Revoice Bookshop. Thank you for your support!